Lauren Proctor at The Plaza

I knew subconsciously that we were over and so when you sent them in 2014, I couldn’t read your (broken) letters.

Today I finally grabbed the courage to read everything at once. I realize now that there’s so much I didn’t see. So many things I didn’t consider. I knew everything and nothing. All about the way you brush your hair and walk across the floor late at night. So little about the inner workings that scared you.

Had I been braver I would have looked deeper. I would have read your Even Days project the day you sent it. Instead I let your letters sit.

Now I am making all my plans without you. Trying not to consider what you would have liked or even what you would have thought. Life goes on without the people we love. Sometimes it takes more time than we’d like to admit to realize it. But we continue, and then find life anew.